What are your 'real' priorities? A simple test.

One of the most difficult questions we answer to ourselves are 'what are our priorities?'.

To be clear, that's not, 'what do you say your priorities are', but what they really are. That's the hard part.

To determine how well your stated priorities align with your actual priorities, try this trick: Next time you say to yourself, "I don't have time to... (activity)", change 'time' to 'priority', by saying instead "It's not a priority to me that I..."

It's revealing. And in some cases, disappointing. It quickly reveals the real priorities we've set for ourselves.

Because when the average American spends hours in front of the television every day, its easy to allow time to slip away unnoticed. But time is a finite resource that must be placed into a triage - and that simple change in wording will help you determine if you truly do not have time, or you simply have other priorities.

Next time you miss the kids' school play or ballgame, skip studying a new language, or stay in instead of going for a run, is it really a lack of time, or simply not, truly, a priority for you?

 

When Harry met silly

So tomorrow I start teaching my college class and curriculum be damned, I’m going to do my best to once again speak to the class of teens and twenty-somethings about personal brand, privacy, and the impact on their future selves. 

I posted once or twice before on this topic, notably years ago when Michael Phelps was photographed taking a hit off a bong, and my essential points are the same: nothing is private. That is true of royals and celebrities, and it’s true of little ol’ you, too. The difference is whether we have the coverage thrust upon us (Harry, Michael) or we go looking for it (future employers, clients). 

I don’t think the point is lost on Gen Y and Millennials (after all, Harry was quoted in Vegas, in a prediction worthy of Nostradamus,  that he had to be careful or else he’d be ‘up on Twitter or Facebook or YouTube thanks to somebody’s mobile phone camera’ ) but the understanding of privacy and long-term impact of their actions is lost on young people. Even on young men like Harry - steeped in tradition, highly scrutinized, with a closely guarded upbringing. In fact, it should be noted that unlike the US, and in spite of its tabloid history, the UK has laws meant to keep certain scandals out of the papers. The Royal Family argued that if UK papers were to publish photos of Harry’s Vegas game of strip billiards (which he apparently lost) it would violate UK press and privacy laws. Of course, the UK’s Sun argued that the photos are already in the public domain, and that publishing them is therefore not a privacy violation. It’s an antiquated notion... it's just not possible to take back a digital photo or badly worded tweet. As former democratic representative Anthony Weiner certainly understands, once it’s out there, it’s done. That’s the benefit and the curse of communication technology today. 

So let me suggest to those who find temptation…, well, too tempting. Be aware that every decision you have made has led you to this moment. Every decision you make from here on out will determine the course of the rest of your life. That has always been true, but in today’s digital age, there is no longer an opportunity for a do-over. Every decision you make is one-and-done. 

Here are three things to understand to help evade the seemingly inevitable:

1. You do not need to be on camera to legitimize yourself.  Learn to understand the importance of private moments, private thoughts, private actions, and private lives. Work hard to keep them that way. There is power in having and keeping secrets.  

2. You must choose your friends wisely. You may only have only had a single beer at that party, but there you are in the photo, standing next to the naked dude being held upside down on the keg. I’m not suggesting you can’t let loose and have fun, but you need to understand that the concept of ‘guilt by association’ is valid, like it or not. 

3. Remember what Ben Franklin said. No, not “early to bed…,” although that’s a good one. I’m thinking of “Three people can keep a secret only if two are dead.” 

Finally, remember this, which ties in particularly well with pictures of Prince Harry’s ginger crown jewels: Privacy is like virginity: It’s the most valuable thing you possess, and once it’s gone, it’s never coming back.

Related articles

• How Facebook design tricks people into trading away privacy
• How U.K. Tabloids Are Getting Around Prince Harry's Nudity Warning
• California To Tackle Privacy Crimes With New DOJ Unit

Twitter Quitter

I quit Twitter today. Oh, this isn’t going to be some minimalist manifesto, just a statement of fact.

I deleted my posts, all 1500+ of them, shared over the past two years or so. Some were moving, insightful. Most were fun. None were ever drivel. No one ever knew what I had for breakfast, I never foursquare’d myself into a virtual mayoral coup d’tat, no one knew when I was ill, and only occasionally did I mention the weather. I even gained a friend or two.

I just got tired.

I initially joined Twitter and other social media to remain up to date on the social media communities important to my clients. I even joined MySpace back in the day – closed the account when it became irrelevant to me.

I like to write, and Twitter and Facebook are good virtual water coolers for office at home types like myself. But they are an extension of me, that is, my personal brand, and before every tweet I’d have to consider that. That can be tiring, particularly for someone such as myself, given to dark humor and sarcasm – 140 characters is plenty of room for a zinger, but never enough for context.

So I’m not dropping out in some Luddite fantasy, I’m just lightening my load a bit. I can be distracted and Twitter is nothing if not a distraction. It was one more thing that took my time from things that were clearly more constructive, useful, profitable, enjoyable, important. Like all good business decisions when faced with limited resources (in this case, time) I had to determine if it was core to my business or life, and if I could justify the continued investment in it. The answer was clearly, no. It was not core, and there are other, arguably better ways to market myself and my ideas, and interact with others.

So my Twitter account is inactive. Of course, I’ll stay in touch, though my number of followers will undoubtedly fall sharply in the coming weeks (another invented preoccupation I'll not miss). I’ll follow the Twittersphere for news on how to leverage Twitter in marketing, and from time to time check on tweets from those I follow who continue to leverage Twitter expertly. The end of this relationship is amicable. I can tell you about Twitter. I can help you create a presence on Twitter. I can now see commercial purposes for Twitter I couldn’t see just a few months ago.

But for now, I’ll just be observing.

Nowhere to hide

So we found out this week that the Texas Rangers' Josh Hamilton fell off the wagon last January. And from the photos (note there is no link attached to that word, at least from this blog - I'll get to that in a moment) he landed hard. The married Hamilton, offered a second chance at baseball after falling into drugs while a young ballplayer convalescing an injury, was photographed drinking, carousing, and essentially behaving like a fratboy at his first kegger. Unfortunate, but not unexpected. Experts say relapses in recovery are common. Fortunately for Hamilton, he told his family and team the very next day so this story is old news now, some eight months later - at least to those who matter.

Olympic phenom Michael Phelps was photographed months ago taking a bong hit at a college party. (I blogged on the topic here.) He lost some major endorsements, apologized, and hopefully learned an important lesson. Whether that lesson is "Just Say No" or "make sure you can trust the people you party with" is unknown, but truth is, both are valid lessons.

I'm not linking to or reposting any of these related images, and I'm not going to comment with some false air of indignation about the behavior of these athletes. I actually tend to take the position of SNL comic Seth Meyer in this outstanding SNL rant. ("If you're at a party and you see Michael Phelps smoking a bong and your first thought isn't "Wow, I get to party with Michael Phelps" and instead you take a picture and sell it to a tabloid, you should take a long look in the mirror...") It isn't in my nature to build people up just for the thrill of tearing them down - as if accomplished, public people were nothing more wooden blocks stacked by some sugar-ravaged five year old. In my experience, most tend to punish themselves just fine on their own.

My marketing mind however pauses and recognizes that each of us, our companies, and our values are subject to the whims of small minded people and rabid opponents who are using the tools of the Internet and social media to gain even the most morally tenuous ground or simply force their way onto the 15 minute stage with a sensational bit of useless gossip. Therefore, it is critical that people and organizations not ignore these new communication tools, but engage them to monitor and proactively defend their brand - whether corporate, product, or personal. As social media consultant Shama Kabani stated in a recent presentation to CEO Netweavers, "...whether or not you want (photos and personal information) out there, its out there. The point is to build up a credible persona in person and online to counter any negative consequence."

Fortunately for Hamilton and Phelps, they've handled their scandals well, offering quick acknowledgment and heartfelt apologies. In the end, the best revenge is their stellar athletic performances since. In the few days since the Hamilton story became public, he's been hitting .360, and for his part, last week Phelps once again set a new world record, this time in the 100m fly. Sometimes the best response is continue to do what you do best.

Or in other words, in a world where all the hiding places are mic'd, let the world know that you are still trying to be the people our dogs think we are.

Then we set his hair on fire...

A note on the death of the King of P.. pitchmen - from this outstanding obit:

"Cast as a god, the man embraced the role, seeking to remake himself in a pale, childlike image only he could understand. The endless cosmetic surgeries, the reclusive years at the Neverland Ranch and the bizarre pronouncements and behaviors are the stuff of legend. Of course, being reborn was something he could never achieve in life. The mighty, moon-walking King of Pop, largely a media construct himself, lost sight of the fact that we're simply not our own creations. Perhaps by now, an ever greater power has reminded him of that."

Certainly personal branding is important, but it is equally important to remember that ultimately, it all ends the same for each of us.

Phelps, Personal Branding, and 'These Kids Today'

Michael Phelps' recent stumble simply serves to underscore the critical requirement to actively build and protect one's 'personal' brand – especially online where a poorly lit photo from a lousy angle can become a sensation and tear down one of America's heretofore greatest athletes – not to mention the personal financial cost to Phelps in endorsements - as Kelloggs has already abandoned their multi-million dollar endorsement deal with Phelps.

Marketers have long recognized that with the growth of the Web 2.0, the term 'brand management' has proven oxymoronic, as the control over the perception of a brand is now more than ever before in the hands of the consuming public. Yet what of the impact on our personal brand? Those of us experienced enough to understand the importance of our personal brand (or 'reputation' to use an old-school term) are now leveraging social media to enhance it. And while readily evident to my generation, our youth appear not to understand or worse, not to care, that the consequences of their actions will appear today on more than their dreaded 'permanent record' –a manila folder in the principal's office – but rather, a new permanent record - another regret posted on a MySpace or Facebook page.

As recently as only a few years ago, an outlet for narcissism this dangerous was limited to the realm of celebrities and reality television. Yet today the explosive growth of social media (one of every twenty web hits is now directed at a social media website) has essentially created a world where we are all stars in our own reality show.

In a line I wish I had written, Lakshmi Chaudhry, writing in The Nation last January, derided the YouTube generation with this pithy line: “When it is more important to be seen than to be talented, it is hardly surprising that the less gifted among us are willing to fart our way into the spotlight."

In fact, I'm predicting that in the not-too-distant future we'll witness the advent of video capability on headsets so that we can stream our lives directly onto our own websites and Facebook pages. (Ironically I've determined that for some social media addicts, this will amount to a nearly 24/7 feed of them viewing their own pages.) SEE UPDATE

“Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking,” observed author H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Absolutely true, but in a world where everyone is looking at everyone else, all the time, where is the room for such contemplation? When there are no dark spaces left for self-reflection, self-control or self-consciousness, is the movement toward this ever-increasing comfort in exposing our thoughts, our desires, and our backsides lowering the bar on what is considered ethical and moral, or just lowering the curtain on what we all knew was there all along?

In spite of recent growth in adoption of social media for the over-35 crowd, I'm still on the upper end of the age demographic for the technology, so my age may account for my views on the subject. Yet even forgiving for a moment my parental angst over what might simply amount to a generational gap in the way we view technology, the need for young people to be taught the basics of branding – particularly personal branding – is more urgent than ever before.

I had an email exchange about a year ago with an old friend whom I've known from high school, and a large part of the on-going discussion was non-specific regret over things said, fights fought, and hearts broken when we were 17. Nothing we did was ever beyond the pale for a typical American teenager, but the minor mistakes we made in high school never really impacted the men we became. It has always been that way. Except today, when seventeen year olds are codifying their spontaneous thoughts and actions in such a way that it will soon impact their lives and defining – essentially restricting – the person they will become.

As I use Facebook Facebookand LinkedIn to get connected and reconnected with colleagues from my early corporate roles here in Dallas, advertising years in New York, friends from high school and even junior high school (!), it is the branding wonk in me that is grateful that as an adolescent extrovert I was spared the consequences of access to social media. Yet regarding today's generation, I pause to consider the impact of a future web search that might bring up an intelligent byline they've written – alongside a photo of the otherwise respected author passed out at a 'kegger' years earlier.

Personal branding is as critical a skill to future generations as reading, 'ritin, and 'rithmetic. Yet unlike trigonometry, a working knowledge of social media's impact on personal branding will be relied upon again and again in their future. Adolescents today make choices that are under greater scrutiny and a harsher light than ever before, therefore discussion of ethical and moral choices needs to be highlighted at school and at home – along with the new visibility of these choices and their online 'permanent record'.

UPDATE, Aug 2010: www.looxcie.com 'Nuff said.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Phelps apologizes over bong picture (cbc.ca)