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Years ago as a graduate student at TCU, we were taught in Statistics class to poke holes in the methodology and analysis of reporting on statistics. It was treated as a sort of debate based on metrics and not opinion; their use, misuse, and abuse. We were taught to look carefully at sources, graphical representation, equivalent measurements, causality, sample size, and so forth. Ever since then, I've been quick to criticize statistics like a middle-school English teacher picks out typos.

As marketers, we are among the first to abuse statistics in our favor, and even as consumers have more information at their finger tips, so too do they have mis-information. Even today, buyer beware is the watchword.

Yet as we enter a political season, the stakes are even higher and we must think and vote with care. This recent article in The Atlantic illustrates some more egregious info-graphic lies used to increase interest and click through rates to study sponsors, and advertisers.

We are a graphical, headline-loving, sound-bite oriented culture. Yet it takes only, on average, 12% more time to learn the truth behind the hyperbole.

Okay. I just made that up.

Jesus as pitchbaby?

In a recent story on MSNBC, I learned that the American Family Association has apparently declared progress against what they referred to as American retailers' "War on Christmas" - where retailers tend to celebrate 'holidays' and not 'Christmas'.

For what it's worth, I'm fine with 'Happy Holidays' being used by retailers. As a former ad executive, I could stomach Joseph (a carpenter by trade) shilling for Craftsman Tools, but I cannot trust my former advertising colleagues not to trade Baby Jesus' swaddling clothes for a Snuggie - size small. I find that prospect more than a little disquieting.

The AFA should be careful what they wish for.

It's good. Really good. It's TOO good.

Dear Nancy Brinker:

I'm a fan. What you've done for research is amazing. No one is a bigger supporter of the cause than I am. My mother herself was a victim of breast cancer so I say this with love, respect, and admiration:

Consider me 'aware'. I'm full of 'awareness'. I'm up to my eyeballs in 'awareness'. But like a pop song heard too many times, the pink thing has gone from helpfully ubiquitous to having the effect of the vandalism you'd expect from a Barbie-obsessed eight year old girl. It's too much of a good thing.

Your marketing - specifically, your brand communication - urgently needs a refresher because I can't be alone when I say I'm starting to tune it out like I do omnipresent graffiti in Queens.

To make a donation: http://ww5.komen.org/

Time-out

For years retailers have been trying to get a jump on the others for the first to the rafters with wreaths and red elves. This year, this sign at Nordstroms has been making the rounds of social media to great response.

Interpreting customer sentiment and positioning yourself uniquely as the 'anti-', as branding experts would say. The anti-Christmas retailer.

Well done, Nordstroms. You're all on Santa's good list this year.

When your dreams are a crock.

I wasted some time today to complete an estimate for a modest-sized potential client today.

Kind of a waste, because I’m doing it out of obligation for someone for whom I know will not buy it. It didn’t take too long, so I’m not bothered, but I thought it blog-worthy because for the umpteenth time, its another boot-strapped start-up that I know they’ll stick to their dream instead of facing reality.That reality is that dreams require sacrifice.

Experts will tell you that most start-ups fail due to under-capitalization. I suggest that that is a symptom of a greater issue: Common Oprah pabulum encouraging your dreams. I know, what a downer. "No one ever got anything without dream

s!" Whatever.

Nothing wrong with dreams. “Go get ‘em, Tiger!”

But dreams are only useful when you understand the reality. Not only the plan for when the dream is realized, but also the plan for when it fails. As a mentor to entrepreneurs, I’ve sat through plenty of VC presentations. 70% of the presentations never addressed the Plan B. Never have I seen an initial plan lacking a discussion of risks ever make it past the initial presentation.

The idea of having one’s own business, building one’s new widget, being one’s own boss is too great a draw to allow concerns about the costs, (time to market) runway, and the outside help that is needed to see it through impact your decision, because,

“Follow your dreams!” said Thoreau*.

So off they go.

So when the dream becomes work, when the risks become higher, when set-backs become more common than anticipated, the fledgling entrepreneur takes shortcuts.

Extends credit to the unworthy.

Buys services from the cheapest comer.

Plays Three Card Monty with incoming invoices.

And when the reality of the present overwhelms the dream they had in mind, they hold tight to that dream because in spite of the unpreparedness, in spite of the lack of planning, they

“Hold tight to the dream”. Because that’s what the poster in their office says.

But too often in the self-absorption common to mere mortals, we forget that our dreams are not others’ dreams. And dreams, to paraphrase Ayn Rand, are not claims on reality.

So my rates aren’t in your budget. (As if I believe you ever created a budget.) Yes, Billy Bob was cheaper. That’s fine, Billy knows what he’s worth. Or maybe Billy Bob is chasing his dream too, blind to the reality that you, too, are looking for the easy way out. Life is not a Successories poster.

So I’m not going to lower my rates for your dream. I’m not going to extend you credit for your dream. I’m not going to trim off the preliminary steps I think are critical to success with the project.

I have my own dreams.

*Thoreau never said this.

Extreme Couponing: Mobile Shoppers and the New Face of Mobile Couponing

In this article, my friend and colleague Brian Morrison, President at Ipsh!, the mobile marketing agency of Dallas' The Marketing Arm (I think that makes him a thumb) discusses how mobility, couponing, and a weak economy are combining to create an exceptional opportunity for mobile marketers to drive more business.

Mobile Shoppers and the New Face of Mobile Couponing

Fear itself.

Only a few times in my career have I had to address fear as a key obstacle to a new product introduction.

Of course, fear is ever-present in doing or buying anything new, but not often is it in the top three. And rarely fear, as such. In marketing, that is, in encouraging a buying decision, fear is more often wrapped in something less... well, absolute. Uncertainty, not fear. Caution, not fear. Inertia, not fear.

Fear is more real, more certain, and more an obstacle than any other faced by marketers. Fear as represented by the perceived lack of control. A lack of control is never overcome in the real sense, but only mitigated through trust.

Trust in turn is encouraged through understanding, established with a relationship, built through consistency, preserved through responsiveness, and confirmed through repetition - selling to and buying of - a loyal customer.

That is nothing new, as although it takes longer to overcome, the fear obstacle is addressed by simply doing what we as marketers know we ought to be doing all along... understand our market, develop a relationship with them, deliver products and services with consistent quality, respond quickly and appropriately to problems and questions, ... and repeat. Other than that, it is, ironically, out of our control how quickly we can make customers feel sufficiently in control to try something new.

So when management, sales, or product grow concerned that uptake of a new product or service is slower than predicted, you'll know that all things being equal, simply staying on track and by doing the right things right, it will happen in time.

Comfort them with FDR's words: "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."

I Will Not Be Ignored!

I'm your customer. But I’m a person first. And...

I feel ignored when you tell me that my call is important to you as I wait for you to answer my call.

I feel ignored when you tell me how friendly you are but no one greets me when I enter your store.

I feel ignored when you call me by my first name the first time we speak.

I feel ignored when you interrupt me at home and mispronounce my name.

I feel ignored when you ask me how I am and launch into the script before I've answered.

I feel ignored when I give you identifying information more than once in the same call.

I feel taken for granted if you say your name is 'Pat' but you sound more like a 'Vishalakshi'. Don't make your first statement to me a lie.

I feel ignored when you say you value me as a customer but you give the free offer to 'new customers only'.

I feel ignored if your 'convenient hours' don't include the one time I need you.

So now I’m right here, in front of you, in person, on the phone, in a chat queue.

I can’t be a more cooperative prospective customer. There is no bigger buying signal. You attracted me with your great strategy, compelling ads, responsive community, and attentive automated lead nurturing.

And so here I am! I did what you wanted.

Why are you ignoring me?

6 Marketing Lessons from Charlie Sheen

I know that the conventional wisdom would be to create a blog entry that talks to all the massive PR mistakes Charlie Sheen has made over the past few weeks, but what interest is there in that? You don’t need me to point out what self-destructive tool the guy is. However, for all his past and present mistakes, there is wisdom in his peculiar and colorful dictums of late. Here are just six of the ones that have occurred to me recently:

1. "I have one speed, one gear ... go!"
For many marketers, a successful campaign, event, or launch is followed by a congratulatory cocktail, a week off, and too often, months of coasting. Successful marketing is not an isolated activity, but an on-going, kinetic, dynamic motion of experimentation, execution, strategy, and analysis. There is no ‘N’ on the marketing gearbox.

2. "My motto now is you either love or you hate, and you must do so violently."
Trying to position a product or a company to appeal to the largest number of consumers is the surest way I know of becoming invisible to the market. If you want to build a brand with voraciously loyal adherents, you need to expect a number of voracious haters as well.

3. "I'm tired of pretending like I'm not special."
Misplaced (and often insincere) modesty, an ‘aw shucks’ brand that focuses on countering criticism instead of building on its strengths will have a hard time retaining long-lasting brand loyalty among its users. Consumers of a product want reasons to stay loyal, not a dismissal of their preferences. This is a common issue among large entrenched incumbents in esoteric markets who see this positioning as a defensive posture - mostly so they are not seen as all-powerful behemoths. It can lead to overlooking challenges from smaller players who leverage that positioning to illustrate their own brand’s superiority.

4. "I am on a drug; it's called 'Charlie Sheen.' It's not available 'cause if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off, and children will weep over your exploded body."
While Charlie likely meant this to be interpreted differently, it serves as a reminder that a company ‘on its own drug’ is susceptible to hearing only the sound of its own voice while ignoring the voices of the consuming public. It’s good to recognize your own successes, but its also helpful to listen to the market once in a while and not be ‘drugged’ into hearing only the echoes of your own glorious past.

5. "We are high priest Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom! Print that, people!"
Make sure your positioning statement, your marketing messages, your promotional materials, the overall impression you leave with prospective customers is dynamic, memorable, and thoroughly differentiated. Charlie has done that in spades.

6. "I've got magic. I've got poetry at my fingertips."
Charlie has magic, a winning smile, and a couple of goddesses.What do you have? Trusted vendors, a quality team? An unbeatable product? Recognize your own resources and make certain you are leveraging each for greatest impact.

So if you follow these six tips from the Warlock, You’re more likely to find yourself in the marketing equivalent of “…a tsumani … riding it on a mercury surfboard."

Product placement as a White Collar crime

I am a proponent of product placement - the 'placement' of 'product' into popular entertainment - movies and television shows mostly. To have characters use real products in the programs can make it more realistic (no one drinks a 'cola' beverage) is less disruptive to the viewer, and is arguably an effective marketing tool.

However, not since the 1950s, when soap operas had housewives offering one another a cup of Folgers, instead of coffee, has product placement been so irritatingly obvious and disruptive. Recently I had to ask myself if Ford so desperate - and show producers so greedy - as to kill the golden goose with far less than subtle product references?

The USA Network basic cable buddy cop show White Collar aired an episode this week that was so overtly pandering as to nearly change my attitude on product placement. It used to be that cop shows would accept a fleet of Fords to chase bad guys. A billboard at the end of the program and a passing glimpse of a logo during a chase scene was all that was required. However, imagine the suspension of belief required to accept this exchange, during a climactic chase scene when a kidnapped FBI agent's life is in danger and a murderer is about to escape:

Good Guy 1, glancing at dashboard as driver (GG2) weaves in and out of midtown traffic: "You have a tree on your dashboard."
Good Guy (Girl) 2: "Yeah, its a hybrid. (ed. note: Really, the FBI in hybrids?) Those leaves tell me how economically I'm driving."
GG1: "Yeah, well, you're dropping a lot of leaves. You sure aren't driving very economically."

Seriously, Jeff Eastin? Racing through traffic after kidnapped FBI agents and a murderer and this is the banal script Ford forces on you? That kind of writing and overt product placement should be a crime. A White Collar crime.

Related articles

• Apple reigns supreme in product placement (news.cnet.com)